An Unfolding of Meaning   Leave a comment

An Unfolding of Meaning

Time of death – 11.29pm

I watched as my life, or was it now
my past life, was laid out before me
I gazed upon the physical and saw the
sterile silver of clinical hospital steel

I could not feel its icy touch and
although covered with a single thick,
white sheet, I could see through
to the naked body underneath

at my feet, at the end of that cold
stainless steel hospital gurney,
there lay folded a pure white knitted
blanket and as I hovered there

in that nowhere land, there in that
time between the beat of a heart,
slowly a corner of the blanket began
to unfold and inch slowly over my corpse

unlike other stories written I have no
feel for ghosts, no spectres of doom,
no past, no present no future to spite me,
there was no distant light calling me

my body jolts

light as the shadow I am, I have this
sense that as the blanket moves
my body is changing and even here
floating above myself I can see

a new beginning; I gaze down upon
my body and look this time through the
woven coverings but now there is …
something different

the feet are smaller, the legs have
become spindly with little hair and
as the blanket unfolds further I see
the metamorphosis of my body

the paunch of ninety two years has gone
replaced with the torso of a younger me
one who has yet to experience the many
firsts of things that will become my life

the skin of neck tightens as does
that of face and slowly the liver spots
of old age disappear to be replaced
by a familiar face of youthful times

what meaning unfolds for it appears
that I have not just been reborn
but I have been redrawn, repurposed
to a specific time of space and learning

the blanket has unfolded and covers my body
I can now feel its nerves, its blood warming
memories drain from my ghostly presence and
pour into the physical restructure before me

the clocks spin backwards with ever
increasing speed, changing shape and style
beginning old they become new as they reverse
in time, curtains change, instruments disappear

it is 1938 and this hospital ward is new, I am a
young boy of fifteen, I want to fight the war, this
I now know is the night 75 years to the day that I ran,
away from home to join that second great adventure

I watch as the ghostly apparition of my past
raises itself and appears to run the darkened
hospital corridor towards the blinking yellow light
and the entrance to what will become a lonely life

towards the darkening room a mother and father
walk hand in hand, I now have a decision to make
for I know that from this night so many lives
were changed – my mother died within a year

my father within two, I never saw them again
heart broken their lives could not be sustained
It took me fifty years to find my surviving sister,
and another three had died across the years

I could feel the warmth of unfolded blanket
and cried for all those years without the warmth
or love and nurture of family that I had given
away to a war I was too young to fight

there is a path in life that offers us a choice
to turn one way or the other and I had chosen
what turned out to be, for parents and family
a path too hard for them to bear

my body jolts

beside me another shadow flies, it is my younger me
that spirit that had chosen to run now drawn back,
and as we hold our own hands together we
descend to the physical and begin to breathe

there is a blackness until I feel the gentle touch
of mother hear a breaking voice of manly father
my hand rubs my face, the wrinkles gone,
my head has hair, I open my eyes and wonder

the lonely years have long gone, I am back
a blanket warms my body, another chance
warms my soul, I know no meaning which
can unfold to tell me what has happened

I will leave to you your own interpretation
because what this may mean to me in years
to come, will be different to what you see, for
everyone will have their own unfolding of meaning

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